Wednesday, September 30, 2009

what is that burning smell?

it is summer months of dust being burned off the gas wood burning stove (not an oxymoron. the 'wood' is ceramic. it runs off gas) caused by the abrupt need for artificial warmth due to the sharp dip in atmospheric temperature.

fall turned on like a faucet yesterday. that kind of weather makes me want to hermit and drink copious amounts of tea. lucky for me, my free as in unemployed schedule allowed for just that. i like fall. i will take fall over spring any day.

my only complaint about the turn of seasons is the onset of cold. as in, i never want to take any of 6 layers of clothes off because doing so would disrupt the state of me being warm. yesterday, after mentioning my desire to acquire a permanent layer of underwarmth for the slate cold upcoming months, roommate geode ambivilently gifted me a pair of long johns. a pair of grey long johns she no longer wore because they fit funny. read = they be ugly. whatever, i thought, i don't care, as long as they are warm. i wore them to bed last night and can attest to their functionality (waking up feeling like i was on fire - literally, not figuratively speaking - was a bittersweet occurrence).

but as for their inherent fashionability (or severe lack thereof), i find myself faced with a bit of a conundrum. i love warmth. i am a practical person. this trait extends to my taste in style. but only to a point. i have my limits. one of them being this particular pair of unflattering, uninspired long johns. yes, they keep me warm, no, no one can see them under my pants. but they make me feel tragically undesirable. it feels like all the bad parts of high school cinched up too high with a too tight elastic waist band. and when faced with the sight of them first thing in the morning, they sour my foggy thoughts and make me want to slip back into the dark shadows where no one but she who bequeathed me with these can see me maybe if that. sigh. if it's a battle you want, long johns, it is a battle you will get. tomorrow, armed with a sewing machine, victory will be mine. in the shape of warm, proper fitting, cute underpants.

but speaking of bequeathing. my coronation is this saturday. i am getting crowned. or to be more exact, my tooth is getting a crown. apparently root canals are not so effective in the long run when they are exposed to the elements. regardless, the ceremony is this weekend. i would invite you all, but i am under the distinct impression that my dentist will not approve of such deviations from tradition. er, protocol.

No comments:

Post a Comment